40 THINGS FOR 40 YEARS.

Last year at this time, I started a daily gratitude post on my social media that I coined graticember. I shared a photo each day that represented the thing I was most grateful for that day. It was a way to get me out of my holiday funk and focus on what truly mattered. You can read all about it here.

This year, with a milestone birthday coming up on Christmas Eve (my 40th) and a Christmas season I have been dreading since March, I thought I would change it up a wee bit.

So, here goes… Here is an incomprehensive list of 40 things that I’m grateful for right now (in no particular order).

1. Christmas lights. I honestly thought I wasn't going to decorate this year. But the glow of Christmas lights has a way of warming my heart no matter how heartbroken I am, so I’m glad I changed my mind.
2. Music. Realistically, music should be numbers two through seventeen. Music and writing have gotten me through this dumpster fire of a year. Good days, bad days and every day in between… Music takes me right to the place in my life I want to be — and right to the feeling I want to feel — right when I need it.
3. (And on that note…) Writing. Writing is my favourite kind of therapy and I’m happy to be leaning on it even more than before.
4. Collaboration. Seeing how people have come together this year — and getting to collaborate with some of my favourite people — has helped to make a dark year feel a wee bit brighter.
5. Baggy sweaters. Is there anything better to kick around the house in this time of year? (Okay, maybe sweatpants…)
6. Little surprises. A card in the mail from a friend. An out-of-the-blue thank you. Finding that special something you forgot you had in amongst your decorations.
7. Nostalgia. My most recent example of my gratitude for nostalgia happened when I was decorating my Christmas trees. That warmth you feel when you get transported back in time by simply touching something or seeing something or hearing something familiar is such a huge part of what makes this season so magical.
8. Memories. Every year when I was a kid, mum would make me a snowman cake for my birthday. And last year, she made me one again. I have a photo of her icing it — and a crystal clear image in my mind of her placing the twizzler scarf on it — that I will cherish forever.
9. Tradition. Displaying la crèche. A tradition in my mum’s family for generations.
10. Kindness. People haven’t always been kind to me. And I haven’t always been kind to some people… But acting with kindness is free, easy and the right thing to do. So I’ll do it. It feels good on both sides of the equation.
11. My ma. This time last year, I wrote my graticember gratitude post about my mum when she was sitting across the room from me… This year, I’m not so lucky... I still feel her everywhere. I still talk to her and write to her. But the feeling of missing her is something I’ve never experienced in my life. Equal to how much I loved her, I suppose… How lucky am I?
12. My books. To say that I have self-published two kids books with my husband and friend in two years feels surreal to me. Seeing LOCAL AUTHOR under my name in an interview on CTV earlier this year definitely belongs near the top of my 2020 highlight reel.
13. My husband. I often say I appreciate Joey for putting up with me… This year, I’ll say I appreciate that he loves me for me. And vice versa.
14. My sisters. I legit don’t know where I would be without my two big sisters looking out for me, holding me up and paving my way…
15. My family. Getting through it all. One day at a time...
16. My friends (who feel like family). Those who show up and stand out in the midst of a global pandemic/ worst-year-of-your-life are your true blue, to-the-end friends. No matter which way you look at it.
17. Working from home. Dog snuggle breaks, Hallmark Christmas movies in the background, flexibility, sweatpants, deck meetings in the sun. The list goes on…
18. Working for myself. I am grateful to be my own boss and to have the freedom to build relationships, projects and content that are in line with my true self.
19. My dog, Bert. His neediness is just what I need.
20. Board games. Competitive as I am, I’m surprised I can still find people to play with me. But I definitely love a good board game, like Sorry… (#sorrynotsorry)
21. The Office. This was on my list last year too… My comfort show like no other. Ask me to apply an Office reference to any situation you can think of. Come on, I dare you.
22. Small town living. Not just because they are the centrepiece of every Hallmark Christmas movie and I am currently brainwashed… Especially during this pandemic, I am grateful to live in a small town. For safety, yes, but mostly for the feelings of familiarity, community and support.
23. Stillness. Those nothing days where you stay in your pjs and just be. Not worried about notifications or expectations or deadlines.
24. Poetry. I love to read it, I love to write it, I love it when it gets me. rupi kaur is my current favourite poet, in case you were wondering.
25. Chicken bones. “Christmas won't be Christmas without any chicken bones,” grumbled Sam. (or something like that)
26. Giving a gift. It’s true that giving a gift to someone else is better than receiving a gift yourself. It really is.
27. Art. Having artist friends who can make custom gifts for you to give (to yourself and others) is a gift in itself.
28. Crisp, sunny winter mornings. Need more of these, stat.
29. Walks in Victoria Park (aka my back yard). Combined with numbers 19 and 28, please and thank you.
30. Resilience. The word itself. What it stands for. How it was modelled for me so effortlessly by my mum my whole life. Like that peace lily in my basement that keeps on finding ways to bloom for me…
31. Baking. If I was making new year’s resolutions this year, more baking would be on the list for sure. I enjoy baking and want to do more of it.
32. Love. Corny, yes, but I’m grateful to know what unconditional love feels like.
33. Mum’s Christmas punch. It won’t be the same without mum making it this year, but it will be made (likely through tears) and it will be delicious.
34. Books. Getting lost in a book is up there with one of my favourite things to do. (Why don’t I do it more often, you ask? … Good question.)
35. Christmas tree smell. That is all.
36. Tea. Especially morning tea in my favourite mug with a good record on in the background.✨
37. My podcast. Holy smokes, I am actually proud of myself for something I did in 2020. Being afraid to start, afraid of the learning curve, afraid to sound like a fool — but doing it anyway — feels pretty darn good. Oh! And to be able to do it with some of my favourite people, with other actual humans listening, is pure icing on the cake.
38. My clients. For trusting me, for respecting me, and for riding this roller coaster of a year with me…
39. Flowers. Actually, plants and greenery in general. Since I started keeping plants alive and making more of an effort to have fresh flowers on rotation in my home, it just feels so much more like a home. You know?
40. Christmas movies. Hallmark movies, yes (see references above). But the Christmas classics are just the best, don’t you think?

Now, excuse me while I pull out my best “my mouth’s bleeding Bert” Jimmy Stewart impression, zip up to the North Pole with Gideon, and proceed to have the “hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye.”

Thanks for reading this far and Merry Christmas. 🖤